I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.

Women often have a way of thinking about others ahead of themselves. We make adjustments for the comfort and well-being of those around us almost unconsciously. As a result, we often undermine ourselves and diminish our unique and wonderful contributions and ideas. Here are a few ways we often sabotage ourselves, and how to use your boss voice:

"I actually have something to add..." or "I'm just wondering..."
The word "actually" sounds like you're surprised you have something to add and "just" shrinks the significance of what you say. Practice dropping them both. Once you are watching, you will ACTUALLY be surprised at JUST how often you use them!

"I'm no expert, but..." or "I don't really know much about this, but..."
Starting a sentence with any statement that indicates that you might be wrong or dumb does you a significant disservice. Maybe you fear criticism, maybe you are worried you are wrong, but whatever the reason, show people you stand by what you say.

Separation between statements and questions.
The vocal fry phenomenon is real, and it's killing us. We have all met that person whose voice goes up at the end of everything, making it all sound like a question. When you express yourself in this way, it makes it seem like your opinions are up for debate.

"Do we think we should..."
Similarly, softening your opinion by introducing it as a question may sometimes have strategic benefits, but really all you end up doing is distancing yourself from your own good idea.

Any of these sound familiar? We encourage you to be more aware of these self-diminishing habits and commit to communicating in a way that is powerful and authentic. Women of the world, we need your opinions and ideas! Embrace them and begin sharing them loudly and without apology.

What patterns have you noticed in your own communication that have helped or hurt your ability to be heard? Let us know in the comments!